2018 · Book Writing... · Bookish · Creative Writing · Depression · Diversity · I Graduated, Now What?! · Introduction · Journal · Mental Illness · Muslim · Poetry · Short Story · Thinking out Loud · Yes, I am a Muslim

Update-Thinking Out Loud #1: Where I have been & where I am going

Well hello there. I was supposed to post my review of Toxic by Lydia Kang, but it is getting pretty dark up there. my heart is racing when my body is idle, and my soul is sinking into this dark hole, while my body stays sitting on the shore.  A can of worms is now open in my mind, yet I sit still, waiting for them to consume my insides. 

(the next day)

Hi! So I have been gone for a while, mostly because of my fluctuating mental health, and partly due to working and laziness, but now that I am ready to come back, well.


I saw the aftermath of this prolonged storm, and though I have known the damage was going be there, waiting for me to fix it, I didn’t expect it to be this horrific.

(the next day)

My ability to make tales out of words is nowhere to be found. I know it is hiding somewhere in this forest of rocks, waiting to be found and polished. My quest won’t be easy; my pathways may turn into a macabre labyrinth, cause in the end, restoring this gem is all that matters. Action must be taken, else words will be forsaken.

The first thing I need to change is the way I post my journal entries. I have come to realize despite how important it is to shine the light on important topics, they shouldn’t be the only thing discussed at a specific point in time. That came out wrong; let me explain. I have created different series, each tackling things I believe to be either taboo or not widely discussed properly. Some examples include;


  1. Through the Shattered Glass ( a MH series)
  2. Yes, I am a Muslim
  3. I Graduated now what
  4. Chronicles of a Spoonie

Some of these have yet to be debuted because every time I write one, I don’t know where to post it. In theory, the idea of starting different series makes sense. I wanted to share my experiences with

1) People who go through similar things.

2) People willing to educate themselves about things they’ve never experienced.

I’ve realized this wasn’t the case for me, most of the times. Being in chronic pain often affected my life after graduation situation, which triggered my MH, and it was a full cycle. And this is why I have decided to stop forcing myself to write under varying titles, and just stick to one, Thinking Out Loud, whenever I feel so conflicted. There, I will talk freely about anything I feel like sharing. The beginning of each post will have the banners of the previously created series to give a hint on what I will be talking about. 


Thinking Out Loud-4.png
Original Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash


The other thing I am changing is my style in writing book reviews. Until I find my Gem, no two consecutive book reviews will be written in the same way. Some will be short, others might be lyrical. I will use these book reviews to sharpen my swords as I wander in this gloomy forest of pebbles.

Finally but not least, I will be sharing a lot of short stories and poetry. These will entail how close am I to finding my gemstone, and what monsters I’ve faced so far. Speaking of which, I need to go and get ready.

Before I go, I am sharing this because I need a reminder of where I have been and where I am going. But I also hope you join me on this voyage, perhaps we could share walkie-talkies to constantly update and support each other. 

Till next time,


5 thoughts on “Update-Thinking Out Loud #1: Where I have been & where I am going

  1. I completely understand how dealing with mental health things can complicate things in life sometimes. This year has been a great example of that for me personally. *sobs* It’s very nice to hear from you! And I think it’s good to talk about things like this as, as you’ve mentioned, it can help people who relate and enlighten those who aren’t familiar with it. Sending you love and joy always. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

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